Case Study :: Domestic Violence and Child Case

Catherine: case study in child and domestic violence cases.

Catherine (names have been changed) 35, wrote to us:  

‘I would be interested in taking part in your pilot. I have two cases coming up and am divorcing my husband because of domestic violence.  My life is in great turmoil but I am trying to act as strong as I can for the lovely children I have. Any help I can get would be gratefully received.’ 

At a meeting between Catherine, communication expert Shelagh Goldie and divorce coach Kirsten Gronning, Shelagh focused on explaining the court process and what potential outcomes might be. Catherine was helped to face her potential worst outcome (the judge orders the father can have the children to stay overnight) and to understand that for a court to keep a father from seeing his children is a big decision - one where Catherine will need very good evidence to support her case.  

Shelagh asked Catherine how she will feel and how might she behave if this happened. They agreed to talk on the phone and put some strategies in place to help with these fears before the hearing. It was also underlined that regardless of the outcome, Catherine needs to feel she did the best she could. 

Two weeks before the hearing Catherine and Kirsten spent one and a half hours on a court familiarisation visit. Catherine wrote: 

"I now have a mental picture of getting into the building... I know how it looks, I feel more confident now. The lawyers are calm and polite – completely the opposite from what I expected. I know now to keep calm and to the point, like you told me in our first session. I can understand that now. I feel as if I have my dignity.” 

Endless proceedings followed, and Shelagh kept up the support calls . Catherine remained strong despite her husband’s abusive behaviour. Catherine wrote: 

“Thank you for your call. …I feel emotionally and financially drained by the whole experience, but am trying to keep positive and forward facing (and not try to look down!!!) Thank you for all your support and for listening and caring.”

Two months later Catherine managed to secure medical notes on her husband which were very damning and spoke again with Shelagh who prepared for her for the next hearing.  She focused on helping Catherine separate the facts from the emotions of the case, and employed strategies to help Catherine present the facts of her case.    

By the time she was back in court, Catherine had gathered sufficient credible evidence from the contact centre and social workers to support her domestic violence allegations. At the end of the case she sent a text message: 

‘He was found guilty on the threat to kill…Thank u all your help. Judge commented on my ability to give evidence, which is down to u, so thank u!’  

A few weeks later she wrote: 

“Your service is truly valuable: it helped me enormously during the fact finding and I was able to put your good advice into practice. When I was in the court room, I tried to use your coping skills and advice about how I should speak; to ask for clarification; to repeat difficult questions and most importantly, how to present myself by keeping myself calm and my emotions suppressed during a highly emotive situation.  

Many people might think that it is easy to keep calm, and eliminate their emotions but I found the experience of the court room really tested me.  To listen to others discuss/question events that happened to me or Robert was extremely difficult, at times I could almost feel myself back in those situations (I guess a bit like flashbacks) and because of the nature of the discussions I would feel quite 'battered and bruised' every time I walked out of the court room.  Luckily for me, I had good support with me at the court and my Solicitor and Barrister ensured that conversation about the proceedings were kept to a minimum (outside the court room) to allow time for more light-hearted conversation.  I think that this also allowed me time to recover before going back into court.
  

I can see myself using some of your advice with future CAFCASS meetings. I really hope that the courts and lawyers see how valuable this service is.”   

Catherine’s solicitor was Sylvia Parsonage of Parsonage and Co who wrote to us outlining her experience of working with a client using our divorce support service: 

“Catherine had young children and the case involved domestic abuse – she desperately needed support and help to face the endless court hearings, and the emotional strain she was under.  The help she needed was outside the confines of my role as her lawyer. I could advise her on the law, try to ensure she made the right decisions along the way, and represent her and support her through court proceedings. For matrimonial clients though, this is often not enough. They need emotional support. They often need more time than they can afford to pay for to ask questions of the system, to mull over their choices and to come to terms with what is happening to them. Shelagh and Kirsten provided this support. Catherine often mentioned them to me when we met. She seemed calmer, clearer in her thinking and more informed about the real choices she had to make. She also seemed less stressed about the “every day” issues she had to deal with as she was contacted regularly by Shelagh and Kirsten who helped her work through children issues, house selling difficulties and how to cope generally. This made my job with Catherine easier, as she did not look to me for additional emotional support, rather she looked to me as her lawyer which in turn reduced her costs.  

I was particularly impressed when Catherine gave evidence and was cross examined. She stuck to her story, was clear with her answers, unemotional and focused. Catherine told me she had coaching from Shelagh and Kirsten about how to handle the court experience; she had notes and exercises to practice which would keep her focused on the facts rather than the emotion of the case. This clearly had a very positive effect.

The work Shelagh and Kirsten did with Catherine saved her a significant amount of money in my fees. If I had spent more time with her explaining the system, offering support, or handling her tears, she would have incurred more costs. However it also worked for me as it saved time on this case, allowing me to move on to the next fee earning work. 

Shelagh and Kirsten’s work is an excellent addition to our legal service. It does not compete, nor does it offer legal advice. It offers the support we cannot give, which makes our work more effective, and the client happier with the outcome, which is, after all, what we all aim for.”   

Catherine's case was featured in the July 2008 issue of Resolution's family law magazine The Review. Click here to read the article called 'Preparing clients for court'  

It’s important to note that we prepare clients for their experience in the family court and under no circumstances do we rehearse the evidence, coach or discuss the evidence or detail of the case. 

Why not contact us now and tell us how we can help.